Why am I always below average in everything I do?Many people constantly feel this way.
Comparing oneself with outside standards is normal behavior. This becomes a disorder when you start rating yourself lower in every situation.
This is a counterproductive behavior where your emotional and cognitive abilities show you in defeating position what ever you do. In psychological term it’s known as “Self defeating behavior disorder” through which you will feel kind of a looser even before you start.
If you don’t break this thought-process then this can form an integral part of your attitude
“Your biggest Challenge is, You Yourself ”
Our inside potential is always hidden and not visible to self. This is because most of the time our conscious is driven outward and we keep comparing ourself with external benchmarks, worldly possessions, labels and abilities. When this behavior is in moderation it creates a perfect competition but obsessive self beating and negative thinking and can lead to various complex mental and psychological disorders.
We can start to correct this behavior with following step
1.Investing energies on Self Awareness
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. Investing energies on building self awareness would help you to draw clear and realistic perception of who you are. Self-awareness is not about uncovering negative or darker side, but understanding who you are, why you do what you to, how you deal with yourself and others.
It would help you to understand tap into your emotional self, thinking self, physical self, and relational self.
2. Focusing on inner potentials
When you learn to focus on your inner potential, you begin to identify yourself as a learner, who is a winner in any situation. You develop an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and accordingly find tools to sharpen your potential
You are able to see every event as an opportunity for personal growth and happiness, hence you develop an attitude to find the right motivation and then consistently work towards achieving your goals.
3.Drawing awareness on inner consciousness
Primary quality of conscious leader to develop inner drive to contribute collectively and responsibly towards the greater good of all. In this way you can feel interconnected with every situation and every living being and your well-being and happiness is connected with well-being and happiness of others.
Think of a boxer who is ready to go in the boxing ring, how he talks to himself and activates his higher consciousness ! So when you draw awareness toward your inner consciousness you are able to build positive thoughts, calm your anxiety and center yourself faster. This boosts your energy, motivation and inner strength.
4. Empathy and compassion for self and others
Self beating is what leads one to failures and disappointments. When you understand that mistakes are part of learning process and you learn from your mistakes then you build compassion for self and you take care of emotional and physical well being. Building compassion for self also allows you to be compassionate for others and you can feel the same way how others may be going through at that time. This allows you to notice your feeling and emotions in different situations and you can see when ever your inner critic wakes up.
Now you know how to focus on your positive self and redirect your inner critic towards more motivated intentions.
With new discoveries of Neuroscience and work on emotional awareness we have found that it is very much possible to “Train your brain to think positive” at any stage of life.
Suggest you to go through my other articles and learn how Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence can help you to Rewire your brain for Success .
I am sure with practice and help of good mentor or Mindfulness coach you can build a “WINNING ATTITUDE”
Manish Behl is the Author of this Article. He is the Founder of Beyondmind and Mindfulness India Summit
As a professional Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence coach he creates Neuroscience based solutions for individuals and organizations on leadership, performance, resilience, and well-being. With over 25 years of leadership experience in the corporate world, he works on empowerment of professionals, individuals, and corporates through groundbreaking practices of Emotional intelligence, Neuroscience, and Mindfulness.
An author who has extensively studied and developed transformational life practices which are life-changing and allows one to see their inner self, invoke positive thinking, augment neurological & transcendent energies and ability to connect with hyper-intelligence.
Beyond Mind is where he and his team expedite the birth of new mindsets and engaging behaviors at all levels of the organization. His purpose is to empower people to expand social-emotional competencies leading to better relationships thus ensuring successful performance and joyful life.
Contact Manish to learn more about how to use Mindfulness & Emotional Intelligence to create successful organisations and leaders.